Gratitude

Blessings that that have arisen out of the adversity of having permanent pain and immobility:

I am home for my children all of the time. This means time to be there to listen to what's going on. It means helping my children stay on track with schoolwork. Also making sure that they can to a good school, college and most importantly, be happy in life. Grow up to be good people.

I have the luxury of being able to cook or bake new recipes and experiment. Before cooking was almost a chore thrown in at the end of the day. Now I can cook and bake and plan meals to enjoy with my family. I also know they eat very healthy meals made from scratch with love.

Also the family tradition of dinner together is a blessing. I learn more about my children at dinner just by being quiet and listening.

The blessing of being able to truly embrace my program of AA again. Thoroughly. With a home group, a sponsor and plans to thoroughly work the steps. Not to mention the wonderful fellowship of friends.

Focusing on my health. Having a physical and knowing what ways I can make my physical health better.

Being grateful and happy for what I have in life, and not feeling unhappy about the things I do not have.

Living simply. Knowing that my humble abode is a warm and welcoming home with a lot of love. Living with the basics and being so very grateful for that knowing how many people do not even have that.

Enjoying time with my animals and the closeness I have with them.

Volunteer work with animal rescue.

Having a beautiful relationship with my mother. Somehow through the grace of God we became very close during my last neck vertebrae fusion, even from a distance. We speak the same language of AA and program of honesty.And most of all I really, really love my Mom.

Knowing that being deemed disabled is not necessarily so bad. I can receive Social Security and have income while treating my back well.  As a result of all of this, I am able to realistically take care of my mother. I can be there around the clock for her, and I can fulfill her wish of not going into a nursing home. She can stay in her own home, and be with her beloved dog Maggi.

Helping others. Doing for others because it feels good to do so. I am a big believer in the Pay It Forward philosophy, and it works.

Most of all, passing all of these things onto my children. Teaching them that when they are asked what they want to be in life, doesn't mean a job.  It means what type of person do you want to be.

Grateful for my entire life.  The good and the bad in this world happen beyond reasons that I cannot fathom, but will know when it is supposed to be revealed.

Bathing Shibas - Like Nailing Jello to a Tree

I was perusing a pet catalog yesterday and was looking through all of the different kinds of pet products and came across shampoos. Then I glanced over at Kitsu & Suki.  Yep, they were both due for that four-letter word: BATH.  My husband was working on the computer and I mentioned, "Honey, I think the Shibas need a bath." Jim agreed, and was very impressed that I would dive into such a brave undertaking on my own.  Now of course I had to set up the bath area, get towels ready, get their specially medicated oatmeal, vanilla and white tea scented shampoo ready (which costs more than my own shampoo) and do all of this without Kitsu or Suki being aware of this preparation.  One mere hint of bath time will send them scrambling under a bed or anywhere else they can hide undetected.  So the question was, which one do I bathe first?  Kitsu is 4 years old and he is used to the routine, isn't thrilled, resists as much as possible, but knows there is a treat at the end of the process.  Suki however is only two, thinks the world is ending and lets out the infamous "Shiba Scream".  The Shiba scream for those who have never heard of it is an ear-piercing shriek that will literally have your neighbors think something has gone horribly awry in your home and may elicit the response of law enforcement officials.  Mind you, no harm is being done, I am talking about a bath here. It was decided, Suki would get her bath first.  Now Suki is small, weighs about 17 lbs and is the sweetest little girl on the planet.  She has an adorable disposition, can get a little skittish at times, but she is basically one happy little Shiba princess. 

So Jim went outside and brushed Suki's fur before her bath as she has been shedding, and he brought Kitsu along with him too.  Suki wasn't blowing coat as Shibas do, there were just a lot of these tumbleweeds of fur flying all around.  Of course Kitsu was chasing them, trying to catch them which was hysterical. Shibas have a very high prey drive if you did not know, and butterflies, leaves, you name it... if it moves, game on!  So after both Suki and Kitsu were brushed down, Jim brought them back inside.  

Inside was Mommy, waiting with fluffy towels, a gentle voice and a soft touch.  It is like walking on eggshells starting this process, so everything has to be very carefully carried out.  I brought Suki into the bathroom and set the water to a comfortable temperature and set the shower sprayer on low with no water in the tub.  "Good girl, you are so good and you will get a cookie when we are done", I said softly, knowing that she knew the word "cookie".  The minute I sprayed just the smallest amount of water on her feet just to get her used to things, she SHRIEKED, scrambled and did everything possible to get out of that tub.  I keep a collar on the Shibas when it is bath time as there needs to be a place for me to hang onto, otherwise they are up and out of that tub and could also slip and hurt themselves. Well I was quite obviously in over my head and I felt like I had about as much control over the situation as someone riding a bull at a rodeo.  I yelled, "Jim get in here bring a large plastic cup!" as I thought the tub sprayer may have been scaring her. Jim then held her by the collar and I wet her down and soaped her up.  I figured we are already at this point and I am going to do this right.  After she was all shampooed and rinsed, I picked her up with a towel and cuddled her so close.  I kept saying, "That's a good girl" and made sure she got her cookies immediately after the bath in hopes that this will help in the future.  She was wagging her tail as we were toweling her off and she seemed happy.  Then of course, she did a big ole Shiba shake and I smelled like a wet dog.  Did I mention I was already drenched at this point?  

As soon as Suki was free to go from this harrowing ordeal, a very dry Kitsu had this look on his face as if to say, "Noooo way, nice try, not happening" but Jim scooped him up and brought him to the tub. Kitsu really is adorable, he is four years old and can sometimes be a little grumpy.  Not aggressive grumpy, just grumpy in a funny kind of way and especially when it involves baths.  Here is a Shiba who avoids puddles at all costs, he walks around them.  The thought of getting soaked down on purpose seems ridiculous to him.  He was not thrilled, but he went along with it and didn't struggle too much.  He was actually the best he has been, plus I made sure he knew Suki had just gotten two cookies for her bath.  He begrudgingly put up with the bath, got toweled off, and of course shook water off all over the place afterwards.  I was unfazed at this point however, letting the water hit me as I was already clearly defeated in any attempt to stay dry.  Kitsu got his cookies and went on his merry little way.  Then Kitsu and Suki decided to play chase all over the house, and went tearing through the place doing Shiba 500 labs over and over.  They had both been out earlier and had plenty of exercise, but they were both full of vinegar after their baths.

Jim and I were both exhausted and soaked.  You might ask, "Why not just go to a groomer? This seems like so much work."  Shibas in general have very little grooming needs, don't require their fur to be cut and do not require frequent bathing.  The sole reason to bring them to a groomer would be for a bath. Well, you know how panicked Suki gets with her own Mom and Dad whom she trusts?  I'm convinced she would absolutely blow up or something if I just handed her off to a stranger, she psychologically couldn't handle it.  Kitsu on the other hand as I mentioned can be grumpy about bath time with me, but I think he would truly freak out too if he ever went to a groomer.  I have basically accepted the fact a long time ago that the Shibas need us to bathe them.  So of course I showered after this whole physically and mentally draining ordeal and got myself clean and dried off.

Lastly, comes the the Shiba cuteness attack.  I woke up this morning to the cuddliest softest fluffiest Shibas in the whole wide world.  We let them sleep in our bed (they let us sleep in the bed?) and they are adorable beyond words.  I mean they are so cute I think my head is gonna explode.  And sweet, and affectionate, and cuddly ... and have me eating out of their paws....

The Great Equalizer

By now I think everyone has realized that the economy has spared no one, everyone is affected and it looks like economically, things are going to get worse before they get better. It can be a time for anger, it can be a time for blame. It can be a time for self-pity. Anger is self-defeating. It is like taking poison, only hoping the other person will die. Justified anger is even more dangerous, that one is certain to kill you. Self-pity in its essence is total absorption. We can get so caught up in me-me-me to the point that we lose touch with everyone else. Again, it may be certainly justified, but instead we need to pull out of our self-absorption and start diving into thinking of others and doing for others or we will surely go under ourselves.


Adversity can be a tremendous time of opportunity. Sometimes the life you know has to get pulled out from underneath you, and only then, does this downturn make you discover what it really is you want out of life and more importantly, what your priorities are. I do not believe in coincidences at all, I think everything absolutely happens for a reason.


I learned many years ago about the virtues of "getting outside of my own head". Basically the theory is to stop worrying about what's going on with me, and think about what is going on with others. I mean it's kind of hard to worry about your own life when you're completely focused on something or someone else. So much of this philosophy leads into living a good life. Doing for others. Now one may question, how can I do for others when I can hardly afford to do for myself? There are many ways. Do you know someone in need? Someone who is a shut in or disabled? Dying of cancer? Lonely? How about the homeless? How about children with life threatening illnesses? How about animals, the most loyal creatures on this earth, who just need a safe place to sleep? The key is to start somewhere and make one small difference. There is a timeless story that has circulated among teachers of school-age children and has often made the rounds in animal rescue, called "The Starfish Story".

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.


Peace...

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True Story - Forgiveness and the Power of Letting Go

A friend of mine sent this to me today, and I just had to share it.  It is a true story.  The video below is something that I highly recommend taking the time to watch.  The story below the video is verbatim of what my friend sent to me, and it sends a very powerful message.

Annie lost her battle with cancer on Nov. 14th, 2009. I was her sponsor, however she taught me the greatest lesson. That is the spirit to forgive.

When Annie was 14 years old, her parents were killed by a drunk driver. The loss of her parents and the resentment she carried took her down many roads, that we all know. Annie was raised by her Grandparents, and she rebelled.

By the time Annie was 19 she had a story of the street, and all that goes with it. She was hitchhiking through Northern Ontario and some trucker picked her up. When she got in that rig, the driver asked her where she was going. Annie said, "I don't know." She never knew how much truth was in that statement. Because that trucker was me~!

I had a speaker tape on, not loud, just background noise. And Annie started telling me her story. It was one of heartache, despair and anger. I just listened, as she told me about her parents getting killed and how she let her life get ruined because of it.

I asked her, if she would like a better life, one where she could help people, just like her. I told her about my life and where it took me and that she can have what I and many people have. That night we went for dinner and then took in a meeting, in Thunder Bay, Ontario. 

She had her last drink, at dinner that night.  Annie rode with me for over four months. We drove all over the country and went to meetings. There was never anything sexual, for she had the top bunk and I had mine on the bottom. She asked me one night, why I never tried anything with her. I told her, that it would kill me if, I lost her friendship and if anything I done caused her to give up her new way of life. It is sad, but Annie told me, that this was the first time anybody cared for her, just as a person.

When Annie was two years sober, she went hunting. She found the person that killed her parents. She used to follow him, and some of us were worried she was going to do something. Well Annie done something alright. She would follow him to the bar, and at closing she would go in and get him. She would give him a ride home. And in the morning she would pick him up and take him to his car. Whenever she was driving him home, in his 'state', he would tell her about the people he killed. Annie would just listen.  This taxi thing went on for about six months. Then one night Annie asked him if he would like to go for coffee, the next night. She told him, she would pick him up, and asked if he would not drink that day. He said yes.

Annie picked him up and she took him for coffee, and it was then that Annie told him who she was. And that it was her parents, that he had killed. She told him her "story" and asked if he would like a new life. She said he could have a life where he could help people just like him.

They went to a meeting that night and Rob has never had a drink since. They have spoken together at many A.A. functions. And The Message of Forgiveness was felt in everyone's heart many times.

Sadly on November 14th, 2009, we lost Annie to cancer. Rob was there for the last three weeks of Annie's fight, and he was holding her hand when she passed away. Rob spoke at Annie's memorial, and he spoke on her forgiveness and how she lived this program with gratitude and humility. He talked about how Annie gave him his greatest gift. And that was the gift of "forgiveness."

I miss Annie and think about her a lot. I think about her most, when I am upset with some person, or something. I think about the "spirit to forgive!" Annie, Rest in Peace and may GOD Bless Your Soul, the way you have Blessed so many of us.

The Bill Kistner Cancer Fund

As many of you know, our friend Bill Kistner has terminal cancer. I spoke to his wife Wendy yesterday, and I asked how Bill was doing. She said that the cancer is spreading and Bill is not doing so well. He recently had some tests done, and the Oncologist’s report showed that he has more tumors developing in his lungs and that he has also developed a tumor on his liver. She mentioned that Bill simply wants to do two things while he is able, and before he gets too ill. Bill really would like to go to the AA Founders weekend in Akron, OH in June. He would also like to go to Niagra Falls. In order for him to do this, he would need to rent an RV as he cannot travel well due to the colorectal cancer. Traveling this way, he can also use the bathroom and shower without concern. He also gets tired and needs naps, and can have his dietary needs met with less disruption. Seeing Bill fight cancer is an inspiration to us all. We all have the ability to make his final wish come true. Terminal cancer is hard enough on Bill and his family, not to mention the burden of financial worries. The fact that one of his final wishes is to attend the AA Founders weekend speaks volumes about Bill’s character and integrity, as well as his priorities in life. Please donate whatever you can to The Bill Kistner Cancer Fund so that we can make his wish come true as well as help his family during this difficult time. Bless all of you that donate, no amount is too small, and collectively we can all make a difference. The greater the donation you can make will of course help us get closer to making Bill’s wish come true. Again Bless you all, you really can make a difference.

Finally Answers, but more Back Surgery

I am writing out this blog just so I can keep a journal of times and dates about all of my recent back surgeries.  Probably boring to most, but more of a reminder to myself about what is happening and when.  Time passes and details become so fuzzy.  I am going to come back to this with my other surgery dates, but for now I am filling in the present while it is fresh in my mind.

I have had three back surgeries so far at Massachusetts General Hospital due to degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis along with a whole list of other conditions.  The first one was a discectomy of the lumbar spine at discs L4/L5 at a fairly young age of 32.  Then a redo of L4/L5 as the pain came back.  My doctor couldn't understand it, said I was like "The Princess and the Pea" he said, as it was so hard to find on any images.  Once he went in, it was more like the Princess and the lima bean a large but very hidden piece of disc was sitting on a nerve.  Then after an auto accident that jarred my already degenerating spine, I had to have a spinal fusion of the L4/L5 discs and bone taken from my pelvis grafted onto my fusion site.    
I have been having upper back pain, as in "Help there is a knife in my back" kind of pain.  I met with my doctor today, and we went over the MRIs I had last week. The cervical spine C5/C6 has a spur and a bulge, and C6/C7 is bulging very badly. He wanted to have me have a nerve block to determine if that indeed was where all of this pain was coming from, the MRI showed the real picture, which is so much that the xrays couldn't capture of course. So I ended up having this procedure that I hadn't planned on today, it was not fun. Like a facet block only more uncomfortable. Using flouroscopy, 3 docs performed this procedure passing a very large needle for the short-acting anesthetic, and corticosteroid for longer relief. I swear this was so much more intense than the lumbar facet blocks? I'm working on one hour's sleep and its a much smaller space for that big needle to go. I think not anticipating this procedure happening today may have thrown me off too. I felt light-headed, woozy and almost fainted, I think it was lack of sleep from endless stabbing pain. Anyhow my doctor is notoriously conservative, holding out surgery always as a very last option. After he saw my Cervical Spine MRI though, he went into straight talk about confirming the MRI results, then planning the next move. Looking right now like he is going to have to fuse C5, C6, and C7 and remove the bone spur. I'm the first to admit that I thought cervical spine stuff was easier to deal with than lumber and other areas of the spine. The recovery period after surgery is much shorter than other spine surgery, but this hurts like a knife in my upper back and now left arm. I can't even turn my neck to the left, which is hard as pulling onto a highway requires you to look back to your left and I can't do it. So right now I'm out of commission for a few days, can't drive and Sean's birthday party is Sunday. Okay, Vicodin kicking in, glad I got all of that in while semi-coherent. Need a bone graft from my hip I am guessing to have bone to fuse this with.  It's that or cadaver bone or synthetic bone.  Cadaver bone honestly creeps me out to no end.  As it comes in second place to having your own bone grafted from your hip, I think I will stay with my own bone and bite the bullet on the bone graft.  Synthetic just doesn't succeed enough, and to go through an extensive surgery like this, I want to have the best "materials" possible.  

Anyhow very happy I have answers as well as the nerve block to confirm that yes, that's exactly where it hurts. Very wiped out, in pain, and down for the count for the next few days.  I can't drive, have to keep a pain log. I have an entirely different issue I am going to see a physician at on Monday at Mass General, as if this isn't enough.  Not complaining, just stating the facts.  Okay, I would say that the Vicodin is kicking in, not a lot to kill this pain but enough to make be kind of loopy.  I will enter more information later, right now I need to crash ...

Getting Healthy and Thinking Positively

Anyone that knows me is aware that I have been through the ringer with my health, and that I do not want to live this way for the rest of my life.  About four years ago I was in a car accident and as a result, I had a spinal fusion of my L4/L5 vertebrae.  After that my life just seemed to just spiral downward.  I had a total of three spinal surgeries, and permanent pain and immobility wasn't what I signed up for in life.  I had many other health issues prior to this, however I had gotten past them and kept moving forward.  I like to be a positive person, I do not like to play the martyr or the victim, but I had been stuck.  Until yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday and I went to a new primary care doctor.  I haven't been to a doctor for a physical in so many years that I decided to pick a new one for various reasons.  I had been seeing my back doctor, went through extensive physical therapy, but I finally just gave up on going.  I have not taken any pain killers in years, and most people who are in my situation are on heavy duty pain meds, and cannot understand how I can function without them.  I like to live a clean life, I don't drink, I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't gamble, I mean I think I may be up for sainthood pretty soon here.  As I have not always been such a saint, I decided that mind-altering substances might just not be a good idea for me, as I believe my mind is already naturally altered enough as it is.  So I had taken the route of bypassing pain medications for my back on my own accord.  I had been on them for awhile, especially right after the surgery of course, but then I stopped taking them.  Darvocet was the one pain med I tried to take as it was considered to be one of the least addictive medications on the market, but although it relieved the pain, it seriously messed me up mentally.  I just stopped taking it and that was it.  No coincidence, Darvocet was recently pulled from the market by the FDA due to so many negative side effects, including suicides and deaths. Yes, taking that medication brought me to an ugly space and I said, "I will have the pain please, and maybe an Aleve."  Still no way to live. 

After being in so much pain for so many years, it has done a number on me, mentally and physically.  Lumbar spinal fusion surgeries are probably the worst pain inducers out there.  It involves spinal nerve endings in the central part of your body where most of your movement takes place.  Those spinal nerve endings are a whole other world of sensitive.  It doesn't help much when people comment and say things such as, "I would never have had a spinal fusion", as they don't realize that for many patients, this is the only choice given their specific circumstances.  Truly, some people get overnight medical degrees and insert their opinion where they would be better off inserting their foot.  There are also "the competitors" that have it so much worse, and in so many different ways.  This is not a "competition" I want to "win", really it is not.  So the pain can be bad, and when I am literally on my last nerve, insensitivity and ignorant comments are the last things I have patience for.  I think the worst though are the people who are somewhat close to me that just don't get it at all.  They aren't able to see what is going on with me, and they don't understand that I can barely function.  They also don't understand how it is that I am stuck where I am.  So back to the getting healthy and getting positive part ;)

I had been living life in limbo as I call it, up until yesterday.  I had many people say to me, "What a bummer, going to the doctor on your birthday."  Normally I would agree.  However for me, living in limbo for this long has caused other medical conditions to crop up, worsen other physical symptoms and caused even more pain, thus creating a vicious cycle of decline.  I have recently had a medical condition unrelated to my back turn into a near emergency situation over the past several months. This is the sole reason I made a doctor appointment in the first place, it was either that or I would be sitting in an ER for hours, get admitted to the hospital, and then that one situation would be focused on. 

This doctor, this person, was wonderful.  I started talking to him about what brought me to see him, extensive bleeding which is what I had believed to be a recurrence of cancer that I had been treated for years ago at Mass General's Women's Oncology Center.  After my last surgery at MGH, my margins had been cleared, the carcinoma in situ was gone and I moved on.  I went for follow up appointments for years, however as I mentioned all of my health concerns went to the wayside while in my "limbo" status.  Of course neglecting follow up on any health-related condition could only have a negative result on something, somewhere along the line.  As bad as this has been symptom-wise, I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

The doctor stopped me in my tracks and asked me a lot of questions, tons of questions, about me.   He took it very seriously why I was there, but he stepped back and looked at the whole picture.  Until now, I have had doctors treating me based on specific ailments and symptoms.  They were all very good physicians, however this was the very first doctor to look at Sharon, me, the person.  Instead of a multitude of referrals and appointments, this man, this person himself, took the time to start in the middle with who I was, what I was all about, and how the hell did I get here to this point.  Yes, primary care doctors are supposed to be gatekeepers, the center of one's health care, etc. but PCPs are too few and far between, and the majority of them admit they have to rush through patients just to get everybody seen.  It really isn't their fault, it's the law of supply and demand, and they can only do so much.  That said, my emergency situation gave me a red flag for a doctor to focus on me more than anyone else who just came in for a routine visit.  Divine intervention I might add...

And so we began.  The root of the problem was that I was this person in a lot of pain, enough to the point of it paralyzing my ability to think straight and take care of myself the way I needed to be taken care of.  I am going to see my back doctor at MGH on Wednesday for better pain management.  There is nothing wrong with taking medications, as prescribed, for pain so bad that it stops a person from existing.  This has been going on for so long, and I truly wasn't able to see straight about what was happening to my life.  I am also going back to MGH for the original symptoms that got me here.  By the time I called yesterday, their offices were closed, so I will call first thing on Monday morning and make an appointment.  This situation in and of itself has made me very weak, anemic and dizzy.  I have also been getting sick a lot, and he called in a prescription for an anti-nausea medication.  I've been popping iron pills and multivitamins to get me by until I can be seen, which I know will be quickly.  I may also have to have an endoscopy done as there is a blockage in my esophagus, but I'm taking things one by one here.

Next up, seeing straight on my mental and physical condition.  So much happens to a person's head when one gets in a vicious physical spiral like this.  I need to take care of that and get myself back.  Physical activity helps the mind, and on we go about mind and body medicine.  Being in this limbo state meant not eating right and living a very sedentary lifestyle without enough exercise.  Getting on the scale was a wake up call, although I knew around "where" I was at on the scale.  Take weight gain, little to no metabolism from pain and inactivity, and loving to cook for my family and there is trouble.  I have just begun eating good foods in the right portions.  It's so easy to sit in front of the computer even and snack.  The celery I am eating right now is an acquired taste, I promise it's not that bad since I've been withdrawing off of all of the salts, sugars and carbs.  Plus I am eating healthy meals now, I'm not starving here, no fad diet crap, no quickie weight loss stuff, Dr. Atkins, Jenny Craig, The South Beach Diet, The Revere Beach Diet and all that other BS.  It's all about eating right and getting enough exercise, you know, like we've all heard about our whole lives.  The doctor also wants me to carry a pedometer every where I go and get to a point where I am walking 10,000 steps a day.  I thought, "I have no clue how much 10,000 steps is?"  He smiled and told me that most people don't.  Obviously I will work up to this, and after pain management and other issues get resolved, but a good site I found shows how much walking this really is and how it works: The Walking Site.  I admit to bucking the doctor on this a little.  "Doc, I used to run 13 miles a day and trained for the Boston Marathon.  I weighed 100 lbs soaking wet and had the lowest BMI there was!  Walking?  Come on, I need to hit the gym, I need to hit the ground running."  Very cheesy confession time:  I was an aerobics instructor for employees after work at a corporation when I was in my 20s.  Yes, leg warmers, boom box, and I was AFAA certified.  (I couldn't effing make this up).  So my ego took a shot when he said kindly that I am in my mid 40s now (ack!) and that I am not in the physical condition I once was (double ack!).  I also realize that I am starting this slowly in conjunction with the more serious medical issue I went in with, as well as working on pain management. The main thing is that I am doing this with my doctor and checking in with him in six weeks.

I have a plan in place to improve and get better now.  I can actively start doing something, changing how I eat and literally taking baby steps to improve my health.  I can really only go up from here, and I feel that I can. As far as what transpires with my back, or whatever my results are from other things beyond my control, I do know I am doing my best, and I do know my doc's got my back.  Someone is looking out for me now so that I can look out for myself.  Also no matter what the results of tests are, weight loss and muscle strengthening can only help my back, build my immune system against any negative cells, and most importantly give me the spark back that I used to have in my life, the hope.  Once I have that back, the rest really is in God's hands, and that's where I let it go.  

Techie Side Note

Lastly ... yes, there is an app for all of this!!  I live for apps, and it is free in the Android Market as well as the Apple Store.  The doctor told me that I know how to eat right and not to focus too much on the details.  He's right, and we can't live our lives measuring everything to the tiniest gram.  We pretty much know that the hot fudge sundae with the works is a no-go, and a salmon fillet with steamed veggies is a good choice. 

For me however, it helps me to keep track of what I eat.  Especially when I can whip out my Android, download the My Fitness Pal app and jot down what I ate and get an idea of fat grams and calories.  It also has a bar code scanner, so I can run the bar code of that Progresso soup can I just ate.  That part does make life easier.  Also, My Fitness Pal has been featured on NBC, the Today Show, USA Today and a lot of other media sites.  Using this in conjunction with the online website http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ it really makes things easy.  I can track food, exercise, and weight and it is very EASY to use.  Again, my doctor recommended keeping track of what I eat, weighing myself once a week and wearing the pedometer all of the time.  I just find this to be helpful to me personally to organize it all, and I am more cognitively aware of what I am eating, doing, exercising if that app is always there, and it is, as my phone has become an appendage ... 

Foursquare and my Android

I swore I would never use foursquare.  Ever.  It seemed like TMI, and any weirdo could stalk you at any given moment or rob you knowing you are not home, as you "have just checked in to Starbucks" or something.  Ever since I got my Android phone however, I have turned into a mad woman.  My HTC EVO 4G is like my baby.  I'm obsessed.  Did I mention specifically that I have the HTC EVO 4G Android phone?  I promise I am not bragging, I have been obsessed with the getting one for ages.  I'm not very materialistic, everything goes to my kids, but this one I have to admit ... I coveted.  I know, coveting thy neighbor's goods is a sin.  I have checked, and none of my neighbors have one.

I must have every app, and now especially foursquare, the app that made absolutely no logical sense to me.  I must get as many "check ins" as I can, and I must let everyone on Twitter know about them.  Just Twitter though, not Facebook, which I think makes it okay.  I must get badges.  My biggest goal however is to unseat "Mayors".  Mayors are people who have checked in the most amount of times to certain places, and they get crown badges for becoming the Mayor.  I am now looking up the frequent places I go on foursquare, and I am convinced that I can check in to these places more than the current Mayors.  My goal is to now unseat existing Mayors and become the Mayor myself of many locations.  I am now looking at people's profiles to see how many times they have checked in somewhere to become Mayor.  I know I can become the Mayor of our local Starbucks.  I don't care how many Caramel Macchiatos it will take, but I will become Mayor.  

Being a Mom, I go to the grocery store, a lot.  Having two teenagers means mass consumption of food, all day and they get up in the middle of the night too.  I spend a lot on groceries and have many mini trips for milk, etc.  I just looked up my local grocery store on foursquare (you can look up anywhere to see who is the Mayor, stats, etc.) and I just found out that the "Mayor" (Dave M.) there has all of 14 check ins.  I laugh, I scoff, "Really?  Only 14 check ins and you call yourself the Mayor?"  That's my next target.  This same Dave M. is the Mayor of the convenience store I stop by from time to time.  I'm going after that one too.  Now I am in a highly competitive race to become Mayor of several places and unseat Dave M.  Did I mention I have no idea who "Dave M." is?  He has his real photo as his foursquare profile picture.  I have decided to be stealthy and keep mine on the down low.  I don't want Dave M. seeing me after all, in my quest to unseat him from all of these places.  All of a sudden he is going to be blindsided by "Sharon F. has unseated you as Mayor of Shaws".  I will then have the coveted crown.

I know, this is not the thought process of a sane person.  I am aware.  I know I sound like a power-hungry lunatic.  I know that there is no tangible, "real" crown.  Yet my quest is on.  I will post a new blog soon as to my conquests and triumphs.  For now I am going to log off of my computer and go on my Android.  Before that however, I am going to update my foursquare account to let people who are sniffing around know that I have two very vicious guard dogs that will tear intruders to shreds if they even look at my home when I am away.  Well, Suki will probably lick them to death, but still ...